Stressed Out Day

April 8, 2012

I read a lot of comments & articles written by parents who have a child with Autism. I am always a little shocked when their comment says something about not wanting to change their child……meaning they say something about not wanting to “fix” their child with Autism because they are not broken. WHAT? That is crazy to me. I love my son more than anything but it is days like today (and a few others) that I certainly wish he did not have Autism.

See today, my son was so stressed out that he hardly played or ate. He is so worried about everything from his body being set on fire from the sun to not wanting to eat because “bad stuff” might be in it. It is heartbreaking to see your child suffering and frustrating to not be able to communicate to him to help him feel better. He seems to think he is going to die and has become almost a hypochondriac. He exams his skin constantly looking at every bump and wanting to put band aids on everything – he has worn as many as thirteen at once. (School even told us he was coloring in his bug bites so they looked like they were bleeding so he could get more band aids). Zaksdad and I have been talking to him constantly trying to ease his worry, but it is not working. I have even goggled his top worries to try to show him visually something that will help him, but it is not working……Today as parents we were not able to help our son and instead my frustration with him was heightened resulting in a fight with my husband. So now, I have a son who doesn’t want to play or eat and to top it off I cannot discuss how sad that makes me feel with my husband because we are not speaking.

It is 3:30 a.m. right now.  Katie (our daughter) just woke up and came to find me because she was scared. I talked with her to help calm her down, I brought her back to bed, turned on her “Rainbow in my Room” light & some music. I rubbed her back for 2 minutes and now she is asleep. SUCCESS. I sure wish I could have been successful with helping my son today.

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